Brienne writes

You cannot have the good if you don't experience the bad.  Why?  You don't know how nice sunshine feels on the skin when you constantly feel it.  It's too warm. I'm so sweaty. My skin is burning. But when it rains... I can't go out, everything is muddy and wet, such mood dampener. I wish it'll be sunny. How lucky we are with technology.  Recently, a friend gave me a pot of plants. We don't get enough sun here at my place.  So my husband bought a plant light to make for the lack of light. There's fertilisers, plant boosters, all sorts of magic you can purchase to make your plant grow better. Funny thing is, we chose this place because we didn't want the sun shining in so brightly and making it so warm in the afternoons. Like mine and his old place. If I could choose, now I'll choose a place with plenty of sunshine. ;p

If you noticed, my first post back was second June, I've also started my Homework for Life and Daily Reflection on the first of June. As second June is a Monday and the start of the week for most people, it makes it ideal to start a habit.  Daniel H. Pink in his book When: The Scientific Secrets of Perfect Timing talks about finding the perfect time to do anything, like starting a habit. Knowing the science to make it easier, to increase your chances of succeeding. The first day of the week, month or year are good times.  It was my favourite book. I gave it away to a stranger for a book exchange project.  Since the start of the month, other habits I'm building are meditating daily using the daily meditation tracks provided by Insight Timer and checking in daily on a self-care app called Finch. It's been a lot of fun using these two apps to help me build habits I want to keep.  If you do download them, send me a message so we can keep each other accountable. Studies h...

I have been wondering for a long time comparing me now to me in the past, in particular, the me who wrote consistently everyday. how did she do it? what frame of mind what she in? what was her why? what made her even write on holiday? I keep asking myself these questions but today, as I sat down to write, I thought,  the ebbs and flow of creative energy, writing energy, if that's all life gives me, I'll take it why question how it happened in the past? why not ask myself how to create the magic now and in the future. aiming for 1 post a day.  let's go fam! 

What does it take to make a habit? I've been thinking about how I got into the habit of writing daily. Days when I had nothing to write but I'll sit in front of the laptop and let the words flow from my fingers to the page and then I just stopped writing I saw the number of readers gone up and that scared me. It was supposed to be a private space for me to share my thoughts It was also a space to help educate if I could.  Share what I know and if just 1 person benefitted from what I've shared,  I've won, I thought. The fear of letting my words be read stopped me from writing how ironic isn't it? but this isn't about that How did I build my writing habit again? I used to love writing so much, I wrote even on holiday!  It was my sacred time, time alone, time spent with my thoughts, time I felt invincible Why did I forgo this writing habit which I so love?  and how do I get it back? I'm hoping reading my own writing will help me get back to it. ---- If you'...

...that's what I found after doing countless projects. I didn't get up in time to do my meditation Haven't got to post something on X and its already 11.12pm. At least I'm doing my writing right now I'm determined to complete the three small goals and make it a win today it's weird, covid day I don't know what Woke up late, had a zoom class, still got to make my hard boiled eggs right on time and it's 10.59am no meditation it is finished my class, did a bit of doom scrolling, had lunch and felt this hit of tiredness ok, 2pm, time to take a little nap I woke up at 6 ish What is wrong with my body? Oh, I'm catching myself right as I type it What is wrong? There's illness/sickness in this body and it wants to rest to feel better asap it's doing its best to recover and be in the best shape so you can have better days what's wrong? What's right you mean?  The anger at myself caught me by surprise We don't give credit to what our body ...

*after her shower how nice to have clean, nice clothes to wear (she slips but didn't full fall as her left foot caught the ridges in the bathroom floor) phew, I almost died... did you know there's so many ways to die?  Oh, and now I have something to blog again hahaha That'll probably be a dumb way to die. Glad I'm alive to tell another one of my silly, clumsy stories. Am I always clumsy? Or did my Mom or people kept saying it when I was younger causing it to be a self-fulfilling prophecy? Is that what people who grow up to be beautiful and confident have in their younger days? People who kept calling them good looking? oh you handsome boy, you pretty girl..  you'll grow up to be loved by many.. Is that what people used to say? I don't know because I got the other end of the stick. The last couple of days with covid have got me not knowing what my plans are for tomorrow. I can't go to work because I'm working with children and we're now in crucial ex...

Watched  The Social Dilemma   and I have mixed feelings about it.  First, I agree with what they said.  AI is already all around us, the big tech companies are manipulating us, our behaviours and selling our attention to advertisers. We're what they need, we're an individual data point, civil wars can happen in ten or twenty years time and we'll be finished. But, I also think. We created these stuff. We're human, we're kind, loving, there are as many people who are as aware of what is going on and we're going to make it all okay at the end.  I don't know. What do you think?

Did you write today? Awesome. Great attempt.  You will probably look back and cringe when you read this but honestly? I think you did great. I can tell that you had an especially hard day today.  I saw you writing a draft, hitting backspace, going on Youtube and watching Dan Koe .  I like Dan Koe. He taught us so much. Can you tell me what you learnt from that video? Basically he mentioned to create a business to solve your own problems and sell the solution.  And the best way to sell it is through an education business through your personal brand. Nice.  Is that something you can work on? Oh. Then what's stopping you? There's so many things to be doing and too little time. There's so much I want to work on but I don't know where to start.  Hold on, slow down. That's alright. Great you have a lot you want to work on. Take it 1 step at a time. The best thing you're experiencing right now is the infant stage. Where nobody knows who you are and ...

Do you ever stop and wonder how much you value you? Your time, your energy, access to you. Do you give it away freely? Anybody and anything has access to you. Or do you have set boundaries? "Not everybody can be a friend, I only build meaningful connections with people who seek growth and improvement." When you start to put a value to your time, example $200 per hour. You'll cut out everything and everyone that is not worth $200. Brutal.  But we all have an infinite amount of time in a day. Time for sleeping, having meals, making progress, keeping healthy, reading, upgrading ourselves and writing.  Whenever you spend time on one thing, you're taking time away from other things.  How you spend your time is how you live your life. How do you value you ?

The path I'm walking is a terribly lonely path.  I haven't met somebody like me. I'm playing the long game. Looking to an infinite future. I want to make writing my thing . At the moment, writing is already my thing.  But I want to be known for this thing, called writing.  Bearing fruit is always beautiful but so is planting that seed, watering it, nurturing it every single day.  A day goes by, nothing. Two days go by, nothing. Three days, four, five, six and seven. Still nothing. Then suddenly one day, a seedling starts sprouting.  Was there really nothing that was happening? Underneath the surface, some time after the seed was planted, tiny roots started growing.  Things that looked invisible to the surface, were happening.  It can be frustrating to see nothing happening.   But what if it just needed another day for the seedling to break out of the surface of the soil? Keep going, plant your seed, nurture it. Be patient. x

Suddenly thought about death if I were to die at 75,  I'll have 15688 days to live that's not a lot of days left not too little too. In about 121 days  I'll be a year older feels like I haven't accomplished a lot there's load of stuff yet to do. Why do I think of accomplishments I'd like to make when I think about my life? I think I've grown heaps, gone through countless of heartbreaks, failures,  achievements,  they all make a part of me. I want to make the days count I want to look back on each day and be proud of myself Are you proud of what you've accomplished to this day? Are you proud of you , today? 

zenhabits.net Used to get on that site, read a few articles, feel inspired to do something good with my life  and go and get work done. Today I went on and chanced upon this one . Here's a snippet I like, "Do we want to spend the limited time we have putting our noses to the grindstone and trying to do what we think we should do? Do we want to spend it feeling dull? What if we could live a life full of wonder, joy, love, fully alive? Do we want to spend the hour we have at the playground trying to rigidly make sure we're doing the merry-go-round correctly, or do we want to have a raucous good time?" I want to have a raucous good time with my writing, with my life.  Really, what's the fun in life if we're not learning and experimenting along the way? Is there a correct path to writing? Is there a right way of finding or making a career?

It's been some time since I got excited about something.  I applied for a job to work with someone I really admire. This is the way I'd like to live my life. Daring to go after the job I want. To ask for what I want. Doing things that gets me excited.  Life is made up of so few moments. So little years. If you wait until you're ready or you wait a moment. Suddenly, you realise you've missed out on so many opportunities.  Do you live your life questioning your choices? What if you took a gamble and chased your dreams? What is the worst that could happen? No. What is the best that could happen? What if you tried and failed? There's another door to open, for sure. At least you gave it your best shot.  That's how I live my life. To give it my best shot every time.  How about you? Love,  Brienne, 5 April, 10.14 p.m 

Read somewhere about longhand writing having numerous benefits. I shall try it out and see for myself This is my first post writing longhand. --- A feeling. Today, an ex-student who walked past me exclaimed " Cher , I pass my Maths!"  I proudly replied "Keep up the good work!" I did a little dance inside. Happy he remembers I taught him last year. Proud of his never-die attitude. Do I want to let go of this 'life'? This part of me. The identity of a Math Teacher. Does this identity ever leave me? Are butterflies still the caterpillar that they were? It's scary thinking about it.  No.  It's exciting.  I'm excited to continue pursuing my dreams. I am no longer growing here.  My wings are slowly taking form.  Do caterpillars know they will have a new life?  Do they know that the days spent munching on leaves, crawling on many feet will one day be over? Is their transformation painful? Are they afraid of becoming something bigger than themselves?  ...

Why ban children when you can allow them on your platform and limit what they search? Because despite the ban, children are gonna find ways to go on TikTok again. Why not allow them on, and let them view only certain contents, discreetly. I think that'll be cool. Almost all kids possess a smart phone. And almost all of them are on TikTok. Let them view educational content. Let them learn one of the ways they know how.  Lots of love, Brienne, 29 March 2022, 8.50 p.m.

Would you make yourself happy if you know you could? Would you try to live out your dreams if you know you could? Would you let others stop you? --- Shared my dreams with a friend this afternoon.  They were so huge it took a while before my words came out of my mouth.  Can I do it? What steps am I taking to make it happen? Life is not just about living day by day.  Life is about thriving, making the best out if it, getting out of bed ready to work for something you believe in.  What do you believe in? What are you willing to work hard for? What shit sandwich are you willing to eat? Or, what will you accept in your life? Love,  Brienne, 21 March 2022, 9.49 p.m. 

Am in the midst of KonMari-ing my stuff.  Wanted to keep some study notes to look at in the future. You know those where you love the module so you put a lot of effort into making handwritten pretty notes and you can't bear to part with them.  Then, I saw a silverfish crawling among one stack.  Just like that, I threw away 2 huge boxes of study notes. Not a second look even for those with elaborate mind maps drawn.  Books that were kept together went to the trash too. How can you keep them when more silverfish can be among them? I'm glad I saw the silverfish today.  Love,  Brienne, 19 March 2022, 9.54 p.m. 

Ali Abdaal says you gotta embrace the suck, get going before you get good .  That's why I continue to write everyday to hone my writing skills to be a better writer in time to come. Updated the link for the Feng Shui expert and went down the rabbit hole looking at the different captions to inspire me to make my space more conducive for me.  Still have trouble letting go of stuff.  I want to give myself nice things.  I deserve the best.  There are really many things I hang on to because I bought them myself or was a gift from someone which I haven't used.  --- How do you start giving yourself the best? What do people do to give themselves the best?  Love, Brienne, 17 March 2022, 10.16 p.m.

My room is still a mess but I feel so satisfied. The stuff in my drawers got a breath of fresh air before they go back to their locations neatly folded.  New and old clothes that I kept thinking I'd wear in the future, were donated or put up for sale.  Items that were hidden at the back of drawers get to come out and show themselves.  I even found a few items that were meant to be gifts for people. They were stacked and hidden and I wouldn't have remembered them if I didn't pack today.  --- I didn't realise how hard it would be to throw stuff away.  Until I changed my mindset to: Items that hold space meant no space for new stuff.  Why do I keep things that no longer bring me joy? Perhaps I wanted to remember how much joy they used to bring me. But I was no longer feeling happy looking at them. Just like things, thought and ideas that no longer serve us need to be thrown away.  Are there any thoughts that no longer deserve space in your mind? Share the...

I look at the things I've strewn all over the bedroom. It's so messy.  It annoys me everyday that these things are still there and I need to find time to deal with them. It doesn't take up a lot of time but sometimes it just takes so much of me to do these tasks.  I like what  Feng Shui expert Amanda  said in one of her posts.  "Clutter is not love. Even if we think it's worth something or it might come in handy later. The truth is, clutter costs us precious energy, physically, psychologically and emotionally. The remedy is to clean and declutter our surroundings  intentionally.  Pay attention to anything you won't buy again today. Notice what you cling to out of guilt and fear - you know, the what ifs.  Be objective about what you keep because of its perceived value. Be mindful about what you hold on to because deep down, you worry life won't get better.  "Better" here doesn't exclusively mean nicer things eithe...